Would Someone Please Inform Cedric the Entertainer....

That he is not funny? Nor has he ever been. It seems about every year or so I see a commercial for a "new" Cedric the Entertainer movie, which is really just a heated up version of old Cedric the Entertainer movies. And everytime I see one of these promos, I want to throw myself in front of an oncoming Geo Metro, because, although it may not kill me, it still won't hurt as bad as even hearing about a Cedric the Entertainer movie.

The good thing about these ads is that I always feel a little younger becasue they are so repetitive, it reminds me of the one before that. I guess you could call it a deja vu effect. It feels as if I am whisked away to the summer before, or two summers ago, or three summers ago when I was a younger lad. I cannot wait until I'm about 80 years old and I see the commercial for "Barbershop 72: The Final Afro" in which Ced spouts racist comments and unfunny jokes as he cuts hair for the final time, because it will feel as if I'm 17 again. So while Cedric the Entertainer may not be funny, he just may hold the key to Everlasting Youth.

Does that negate the fact that nothing that has ever come out of his mouth is funny, even though he is paid to make people laugh? I bet you an emo band can tell better jokes that Cedric the Entertainer.

Maybe I should embrace his crappiness and praise him for the fact that in the land of crappy Hollywood movies and actors, he has charged to the head of the Crappiness field. But the thing is, he is neither funny nor unintentionally funny and that is huge when determining the Lord of Crappiness. Guys that I praise as being Awesomely Crappy are Bob Saget, John Stamos, William Shatner, and David Hasselhoff. They have set the bar and Cedric the Entertainer will just never reach that.

So Ced, homie, I'm here to tell you. Stop making movies. Stop robbing people of their hard earned money by continually making movies that no one can get anything out of. And if you won't stop doing that, for the love of god, at least try to be original in some way. Otherwise, you are not funny!